Grade-Crazy Irish Sweater Guy
He is obssesed with his Irish sweaters. he spent about half the time talking about his special type of sweater, how it came from ths certain part of ireland, did we know were Ireland was? The special design, how the locals were very proud of there sweaters, blah, blah, blah. But he was actully a good sub, ounce he gets past his sweater he is one of the substitutes that can actully get the curriculum done propperly, and you feel like he is almost as good as the normal teacher.
Sane Dog Lady
Sane, yes sane, not crazy for ounce, but rather a good substitute. She both gets the curriculum done AND tells the best stories, she speaks in a very unique way, putting emphasise on about every other word, lengthening some and speeding up others, essensially making her stories twice as good. Of her stories are her Minature, Black, Long Haired Docksen, and how she gets annoyed when people ask "What type of dog is that", because she paid a lot of money for her dog, Beemer. Another is her son when going to college said "I wanna get out of Minnesota, I don't wanna have to deal with the snow and slush!" so he went to Arizona State, and as she was dropping him off at the dorm she was not happy about what she saw, in the middle of the courtyard, a pool! She said don't you even think about being by that pool, you will be in your dorm studing! He replied, "Don't worry, I'll study by the pool" then she told the class that she was pretty sure he wouldn't be studing books by the pool, but rather the somthing else, the girls.
The Crazy Sub Day!
In fourth grade our teacher was at a meeting or doctors appointmeant, so wasn't there, so there was a substitute, but she soon got sick! She had to go home immediatly, the new sub wouldn't be there in a while, so the only teacher available was the gym teacher! Try to see a gym teacher teach math,. The entire lesson was absolutly absurd. At another point the principal tried teaching for a bit, a slight improvement. Eventully we got the sub and was able to return to or math lesson, but we never forgot the day we were taught math by the gym teacher.
Grade-Crazy Glue Lady!!!!!
This is the best story, and the worst substitute. We were working on flat patterns for rectangular prisms in math, so we were supposed to cut out flat paterns for a certain senario and test them with 1cm cubes, easy enough, right, wrong. Despite my my math teachers specific instructions the sub still manged to mess everything up. First she told us to GLUE the cubes and paper together, this would essensially ruin the cubes. The entire class was protesting saying it couldn't be true, it would be insane! But instead of reading the instructions twice the sub called a couple of kids morons, proceeded to say that she new what she was doing, she was put there for a reason.
The next day in my math class my normal math teacher was telling us how she was looking everywere for the cubes, since there were only a few left in the bin and eventually found them glued together on our math papers and asked us what the hell happened. We then proceeded to tell her all of our horrific tales and she couldn't believe it! She proceeded to take a large piece of construction paper, glue on one of the few remaining small cubes and wite in big letters with an arrow pointing to it "A SURVIVOR". She left that on the board for the rest of the yar. We have never had that sub again.
So those are the substitutes, some good, some bad, some absurd.
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